Nightmare
by Anna D. Elric
Summary: A fic inspired in Kurama's music Nightmare. My first YYH fic. Kurama is missing Hiei who is long time no see... YAOI  Kurama x Hiei


_Limitless and continuous, the black sky ..._

_...cracks and splits badly, a modest sound_

_I stop walking my journey, causing (my) feet..._

_...to sway._

I look at the endless sky, so dark and cold. There are no stars, just the darkness of a cloudy night. I can feel an icy wind, which makes me shiver. I try to cover my body with my jacket once more. I should walk faster to home, to not get the rain, but for some reason, I can't run. I just walk slowly, looking at the empty streets beyond me with empty eyes. I miss him. I miss his presence behind me. I hear thunder, which makes the sky crack and split badly, but for me it's a modest sound...and once more reminds me of him. The thunder's energy is like his energy when he uses the kokuryuha. I can't help but stop walking and turn back, hoping to see his black form coming in slow footsteps towards me.

_A warm person, with this borrowed language_

_I long for the day, in this borrowed form_

_Bringing nearer all the bad dreams_

_NIGHTMARE!_

But I see nothing, and I say in a whisper: "Hiei...", but I almost can't listen to my voice, my warm voice. It doesn't exist anymore...I can't listen to my own heart. I'd like to see the sun, but the day would bring again all my borrowed life, as Shuuichi Minamino. So I can only remember the last time I saw him, when he went to the Makai in order to work for that stupid woman, Mukuro, two years ago. He never came back. Was he in love with her? Or was it a nightmare and I would wake up with his compact form resting by my side?

_A marvelous voice ... a cold hand_

_From out of night, CALL ME many times, CALL ME_

I remember his marvelous voice, like the thunder itself but like a sweet caress at the same time...his cold hand at my body...why hasn't he come back? Why? Is it because he never liked the Ningenkai? He had told me he would wait until I came back to the Makai...but...but I thought he would come to visit me at least...still...he hasn't. Closing my eyes, I can hear his voice calling me, so many times...but I can't go to him. I have my mother here.

_My body. What leeway do I have! Memories! Now, all at once this darkness is illuminated_

I can't run away from my human life. It's too important to me to do this. I can't leave my mother, my brother and the people who love me: Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Keiko, Shizuru...they need me here. They need my friendship. But Hiei...he needs me too. I need him...What can I do? I can't be in two places at once. I can be two persons in one body, but I still can't have two bodies... Why can't Hiei understand that?

_A greatly distressed person hesitates to obey_

_This body is chaos, wounds about the healed_

_This heart is chaos, it catches fire quickly_

I can't understand my own feelings. I'm too distressed to do it. My friends seem not to notice what is happening to me. My soul is dying day after day, but my wounds are hidden too deep in my heart. My smile is the same as always and they can't see my true pain, and the fire my heart needs to cure itself. Sometimes I may be explosive with them, and they would ask me if I had a bad day, but none of them would ask: "Are you missing Hiei?" No, it's a lie. There is only one person who asked me this, and I cried in her arms for almost a night. Yukina-chan had asked me that phrase with her big red eyes watching me, while I fought with my tears, the eyes that were so similar to Hiei's.

_Limitless and continuous, the black sky ..._

_...cracks and splits badly, a modest sound_

_Seduction, reflected in my eyes_

_Extremely_

I hear another crack of thunder, and I note that it's starting to rain. The ray of light that comes after the thunder shines so brightly on my face that I am almost forced to close my green eyes. I feel the water on my hair and shoulders. It is much colder than before. I AM so cold...I couldn't keep my most precious jewel at my side, with all my beautiful and seductive form. He was so different from the others that had crossed my life as a youko...

_A wounded future, driven out and packed away_

_Shattered the morning, step in to it_

_In this chest exists indecision_

_LOVE_

I don't have a future. I don't know what to do. A part of my heart says to me to open a portal to Makai and go after my love, but my other half says to go home. My mother would be worried. I knew it was too late...It was almost day now...The morning was coming and I should walk to it. But in my chest exists indecision and love... I kneel down without strength... I don't want to get up anymore...

_Your voice is kind_

_From out of these dreams CALL ME, any time, CALL ME_

While I try to stop my tears, I hear someone calling my name, my true name. "Kurama..." It's the kind voice I have always tried to forget. I'm not going to turn this time. I get up quickly and stop crying. I hear my name again and again...each time more worried and hurt. But now I know I hate that voice. The voice that makes me want to die. I'm not going to stop again! I don't want to suffer anymore!

_In a heavy rain. Making do in a cold wind. Light requests to not stop_

_those sturdy memories from finding out ..._

The rain is stronger then ever, it's a storm and I run, run from that voice, he is not there! The cold wind comes to my face, as if trying to make me stop, but the light of the morning requests that I do not stop again. Those memories will find their way one day or another. I'll forget him forever! But when I look to my front, I see a pair of big red eyes watching me with undisguised pain.

"Have you forgotten me, Kurama?", he says, and I almost fall in his arms when I stop running.

I stare at him with widened green eyes. "How can you ask me such a thing?" I ask, stunned, wanting to turn to the other side and run again. I couldn't look at those eyes and remember the pain he had made me suffer.

He smiles, a sad and hurt smile, and I almost take a step forward to hold him. "Yes. You thought I had forgotten you..." he whispers, turning his face to the sky. It is then that I note that he is badly hurt. When I open my mouth to say something, he falls at my feet.

_A greatly distressed person hesitates to obey_

_They who come all the way becomes very impressive_

_They who come all this way becomes very powerful_

I am looking at the rain, which is stopping now, from my bedroom window. I had taken care of Hiei's injuries, which were very serious. I can't imagine how he could have made it from the Makai to here in that state...It was unbelievable. Yuusuke and Kuwabara should be arriving soon. I had called them as soon as I put Hiei to sleep on my bed. Mom had gone shopping and should arrive this evening, so I had a day to take care of my lover. I turn my face from the window to my bed. Hiei was as beautiful as I remembered him to be. His hair was all wet and so sexy...but still...I didn't know why he had come back and with whom he had fought before...his katana was covered with blood and judging from his exhausted state I could guess he had used the kokuryuha...

"Kurama..." he whispers in his sleep and I'm at his side, worried.

"I'm here, Hiei. I'm here.." I take his hand between mine and kiss it gently. He opens his eyes slowly and stares at me, as if seeing a dream.

"Are you really here?" he asks in a small voice.

"Hai. I always were."

He turns his face and I can see a single back tear-gem fall from his eye to the sheet. "I haven't forgotten you, Kurama. Mukuro...she...captured me..."

My eyes widen. Captured? I never thought about that. "She...didn't want me to come here to see you...so... during all these years I...couldn't get out from the Makai...", he looked at me again, with a little smile on his lips. A death smile. "I miss you a lot, kitsune...so I...killed her and came here."

Killed...the word echoed in my head. He had KILLED Mukuro? That would explain his injuries...But he had killed her for me... My heart ached in my chest. How could I doubt in Hiei's love? I hadn't thought about this possibility...and I didn't go there to help him...to see if HE was all right...He had fought with an S-class demon, knowing he possibly could not win the battle and I...I was crying and crying...thinking about his betrayal...I was a selfish baka!

"So..." he asks, because I hadn't spoken a word. "I see...I shouldn't have come back...there is no place for me anymore, ne, Kurama?" He gets up quickly, with a strength I didn't know he still had. "I'm going." he announced, taking his cloak.

"No!" I yelled, running to him and pulling him to me. "I miss you a lot, Hiei. Don't go away again, please...I just...I should have known something was wrong when you didn't come back...Hiei...I love you!" I stop talking, but I don't let him go.

To my surprise, he reclines his head against my chest and closes his eyes. "Ai shiteru, kitsune."

I am astonished for a while. I could count on my hands how many times he has said that to me. I smile, and turn his face to mine, kissing his lips slowly, tasting his mouth with tenderness. We had become very powerful. And our feelings had become very impressive.

DISCLAIMER: Yu Yu Hakusho is copyright of Yoshihiro Togashi-sama. I don't owe neither of the characters that appear in here!


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